I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.

I feel like tonight, my mind is made up.  I don't want to be pregnant.  But even in writing that out, I am aware of the tiny life inside me.  I hate this.  How do I make a choice between two options that likely have the same outcome?  How do I decide to terminate before she even gets a chance?  Or how do I choose to continue knowing that every day ( Read more... )

Maybe?

No.  I can't.

To be done before July 13th:
1. Finish establishing Boot Camp program
2. Paris Interpol meeting
3. [Redacted Have words with Kort]
4. [Redacted Take care of Jeanne Benoit and associate]
5. [Redacted Find Dad]

I am amazing.  I am wonderful.  I am strong.  I am beautiful.  I am confident.

...I am still awake.

Pre - Pregnancy Weight Stats ( Read more... )

TO: All

FROM: Jennifer Shepard

DATE: January 17, 2012

SUBJECT: Agent Gibbs

Agent Gibbs is out of intensive care and is expected to make a full recovery.  You are more than welcome to inundate him with well wishes.  However, the next person who asks me how Heather is holding up or makes a remark about how sympathetic they are towards her will be

There are 8 million people in New York City.  The odds of running into someone you knew from your past are slim.  So imagine my surprise when my life collided with that of someone I never wanted to see again when I ducked into a small, locally owned coffee shop on the Upper East Side.  It's a few blocks from the hospital, but I'd been told the ( Read more... )

I just have to get this out.  It's keeping me awake and its festering isn't helping the nausea.  This afternoon, I realized that on Christmas Day, I will be at the exact point in my pregnancy when I miscarried.

"The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins?"

117 seconds.

I was clinically dead for 117 seconds.  And all it took was one well-aimed piece of metal, pointed at just the right angle, fired at just the right time to catch me in the chest.  My blood was ( Read more... )